Daca va aduceti aminte, a existat ceva ca o epidemie acu niste ani, cu niste scrisori nigeriene care iti spuneau ca te-ai umplut de niscai valize pline de bani. E, nu numai ca scrisorile n-au disparut, dar se pare ca pana si ele urmeaza trendurile geo-politice actuale. Si, implicit toate celelalte trenduri.

Asa se face ca a venit acum randul domnului Song Lile, din Hong Kong, sa-mi umple casuta de spam. Va arat si voua si profit de ocazie sa-i raspund (in engleza).

Incepe, fireste, cu adresa, ca sa vad cat de important e domnul Song. Sau Lile.

Deci:

Mr.Song Lile
Hang Seng Bank Ltd.
Sai Wan Ho Branch,
83, Des Voeux Road,
Hong Kong.

Apoi scrisoarea:

Good Day,

Please kindly accept my apology for sending you this email without your
consent.

(No problem Mr. Lile. Or Song. I follow the Hang Seng Bank with a careful eye for some time now. Of course I don’t hesitate for even one second to nest my financial eggs anywhere else then the Hang Seng Bank. Deutsche Bank or, say, Chase Manhattan are, obviously, passe)

I believe you are a highly respected personality, considering the
fact that I sourced your profile from the peoples search database on the
web during my descret search for a foreign partner.

(Of course I am a highly respected personality, Mr. Song. I work for the R+B and I have the Airport alternative band, of which undoubtedly you should have already heard by now. Oh, and just a quick note here – check your grammar. It’s “discrete”, not “descret”)

I have a proposal for you.

Very well, Mr. Song. You sound exactly like the man I need.

I have a business proposal in the tune of 19.5m US to be transferred
to an offshore account with your assistace if willing.

(Of course I am willing to do this, Mr. Song. Why didn’t you say so from the beginning? Just send the money, the briefcase, whatever it is and I’ll take care of the rest. I knew you were my man.)

You can contact me on my private email:( lile.song773@yahoo.com.hk )
and send me the following information for documentation purpose:

Private phone number

(Well… I’am afraid I can’t give you that, Mr. Lile. Being the highly respected personality that I am, how can I not fear that you’ll send your local Yakuza over and get the money back as soon as I make your transfer? So, you know, I would stick to e-mail, skype and maybe messenger if you don’t mind)

Current residential address

(Well, that’s easy, Mr. Song. I live in Casa Poporului, the second biggest building after the Pentagon. You’ll see it from space. Anything else?)

I look forward to hearing from you.

(Well, you just heard from me. Send the money and let’s get this over with)

Kind Regards,
Mr. Song Lile.

(Ok, kind regards to U 2, Mr. Song. However, no more mr. nice guy stuff, if you will. Send the money, we are both grown up gentlemen.)

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